Lily Evans A Twisted Life
by ranDUMM
Summary: Hey, I'm Lily. Lily Evans. Yes, I have a pretty Twisted Life. No I am not going out with Potter! And never will.' Mostly LJ&AF&SOC.


Hey, I'm Lily.

Lily Evans.

… Yes? Why are you here? In my head? Reading my thoughts? Oh I see. You want to find out about me and… _what? _You've _got_ to be joking! You want to hear about what's going on with me and _Potter? James Potter?!_ Ok just… no. Just no.

Okay, well you've got your answer. Now go. Scoot. Skedaddle… _Why aren't you going?_ You want to know more about my life? Well… I suppose it wouldn't hurt to tell you a little bit about my life.

Well, I go to Hogwarts. Obviously… I'm a witch. Hooray. Yippee. I bunk with three of my friends. Alice, Mary and Gemma. Yes, Alice Pewter. Yes, I know her father is running for Minister of Magic. Did I tell you that she hates her dad?

I hate her as well. Well I suppose I don't _hate_ her exactly. We don't get along. Well, we used to. But not anymore. She doesn't know the meaning of _used to_. Gahh!

Yes, sorry. Back to the subject. I go to Hogwarts. I take a variety of subjects. Ok, fine. I take most of the subjects here, and I've got to say I'm damn brilliant at them. I know what you're thinking. This Evans chick is really full of herself. Trust me, you want someone who's full of themselves, go to Potter. Burgh. He's the most egotistical; arrogant… sorry am I ranting? I tend to do that sometimes.

Anyway, yes. I am brilliant at most of the subjects. Usually, when I say I'm brilliant at something, I usually am. I'm not brilliant at much. So just bare with me okay? So… where was I? Oh that's right. My favourite subject is Charms. It's so much fun! And it's so easy as well. Hmm… I suppose my best subject is Potions. Yes, I have Professor Slughorn. _Yes, I am in the Slug Club! _

I'm not that proud of it. I went for the first time in first year. I usually hang around Alice and Frank Longbottom. Oh and Potter kind of sits at the same table as us, seeing as he has no friends. Well he does. That Sirius Black. Gahh.

_Anyway. _Well, I kind of hang around only Frank Longbottom, because as I said, Alice isn't exactly very nice. Haha, me hanging around Frank infuriates her. They obviously have 'lil something going. Hehe. What?! Me hang around Potter? No way. Absolutely no way. You must be mental. Hmm back to the Slug Club.

Professor Slughorn reckons that I'll take over his position as Potions professor! _No way! _If I ever come back to Hogwarts to teach, it will be to teach Charms. Not Potions. Urghh. For one, Potions is the 'Slytherin' subject. Don't get me wrong. I don't have any feelings against Slytherin. I don't believe in Gryffindor Slytherin Rivalry. The houses are meant to be united I say! No, I only despise certain people in that house. Like that sorry Mulciber! He's evil. He'll be a death eater for sure. There's no doubt about that.

But the really sorry one in that house in Severus Snape. Urghh. To think that I actually thought that he was once my friend. I mean, he's the one who told me that I was a witch. He's the one that I chose to give a chance, even though he was sorted into Slytherin No, I don't believe in Gryffindor Slytherin house rivalry. But then when I stood up for him, that's right_, I stood up for him_! And he called me a Mu… M-M… no I can't say it, I'm sorry. It's a foul word. I'm glad to say that I do not associate myself with him anymore.

Yes, I know. You're thinking that, we can make up. We can be how we used to be. But I don't think so. I can see the pity and hurt in his eyes. The pleading eyes. But I could never go back! We were just not meant to be friends. He says it was fate that we met and coincidence that he called me an m. Coincidence?! He calls every other muggleborn an m. So why should I be any different? No. I think that it was coincidence that we met, and fate that threw us apart.

Speaking of fate, did I tell you about my parent's fate? I'm sorry, it's hard to talk about… but I'll try my best. You see, they died. _No, they were not murdered because they had a daughter who is a witch!! _My mother died of Cancer. I went to be with my father for a few weeks yes, in the middle of term. On the last day of my visit, my father died of a heart attack. I have no family now. Yes, I do have a sister, Petunia, but… we don't exactly get along.

But I mean. You would've thought that our parent's _death_ would've shown her that we needed each other, but no! Her stupid _jealousy_ of all things I know! She's jealous that she's not a witch!! threw us apart once more.

Actually you know what? I do have a family. My family is my friends, who are always with me. Mary, Gemma, Remus, Sirius, Alice I suppose… and Peter I haven't talked to him much. He's a bit… _ratty_ if you get what I mean. Oh alright. _And Potter._ Kind of. A bit.

Oh alright, he's always really nice to me. He's in love with me. Literally. He stalks me! He asks me out at least twice a day. _No I have never said yes! _He's egotistical and arrogant. And a lot more than that but then I'd be ranting again and you wouldn't be listening to me even though I wasn't exactly keen on telling you all this in the first place, and you made me and… oh no. I'm ranting again aren't I?

_So anyway__**! **_Hmm. What else, what else… Oh oh! Guess who my best friend is!? No it's not Alice. No, not Gemma. She's a bit of a loner. No not Remus. Don't ask if it's Sirius, I would die if I had to put up with him for a day. I would pity Potter, but then it's Potter, and they're both the same anyway. _No it's not Potter! _It's Mary! She's always been so kind to me. I suppose Alice was once… but that was a long time ago.

Hmm… while we're on the subject of friends, did you want to know the relationships? Well, there's Alice and Frank. They are really cute. Even if Alice isn't exactly my friend anymore. You see, they've been going out since fourth year! And it's now the beginning of seventh year! That's so long! And so cute! And a bit disgusting when they snog… but oh well. Oh yeah, there's also Sirius and Mary.

Their relationship is a headache. A _huge_ headache. You see, anyone can tell that they are head over heels in love with each other oops sorry, muggle saying. They get into a lot of fights however. A lot of fights. Over nothing! Just randomly they fight about something! And then after a few days they kiss and make up and sleep together a few times yes, they sleep together often and then they fight again and the whole cycle starts again. _Major Headache_ when we have to put up with them.

Umm… I think that's all. Oh wait, Gemma has a little bit of a crush okay a lot of a crush on Remus. But I don't think that he is really that interested in her. He hasn't really been with any girls that I know of. I think Sirius let slip that he liked me at some point of his school career, but I don't think that's true. I know why Gemma likes him though. He nice, sensitive, smart, _hot_… but he doesn't exactly bed every girl he comes across. He's not Potter and Black. Thank goodness.

Speaking of Potter, here he comes now.

"Hey Evans! What're you doing?" What does it look like I'm doing idiot? I'm thinking!

"What, you're not talking to me again? You won't be able to keep this up. You'll have to surrender to my looks and my charm sometime." Pfft. Yeah right. I'm not a stupid bimbo like the other bimbos at Hogwarts who start swooning if you even glance at them. Wait, did you say charm? What charm? Oh right, your ability to charm monkeys.

"Go away Potter. I don't need your idiotness right now." Oh burn! Okay not really, but at least I have the guts cough to tell him that he isn't Prince Charming.

"Hey Evans, go with me to Hogsmeade?" Oh Gosh. Here he goes again. He knows what my answer is.

_You think I'd actually say yes?! _Then you don't know me at all. I promise that I will say no.

"I solemnly swear that I will not go with you Potter." I said smoothly. Haha! I used that choice of words because the four Marauders Potter, Black, Remus and Peter are always muttering it. Hehe.

"Come on Evans!" Hmm. He looks really desperate. "I'm desperate!" There you go.

Wow, he's on hi knees begging now. He's REALLY desperate! Haha. I almost feel sorry for him.

"Please Evans? Please, please come Hogsmeade with me?" He looks like he knows the battle is lot. He knows, because this is what happens every single time. Me and Potter-

"Oh alright Potter. I'll go to Hogsmeade with you."

–are going to Hogsmeade.

Wow. Everybody is silent. And then he's hugging me, and I'm telling him to get off and the common room is cheering that finally Lily Evans said alright to Potter, and, and…

And dang. I broke my promise.


End file.
